So it's been a while since I last wrote a blog. I haven't really had anything to blog about and it seems my life as been busy!
Lately, I keep coming in and out of these depressions and while being in one, I seem to gain weight. So, I'll lose 7 lbs and then gain that back, then lose 5lbs and then gain that back! I'm so tired of this pattern. It's starting to get old, but it's so hard when you are around food everyday and have no support system. A lot of you know, some don't, but we are having quite a bit of a financial problem, so all this is really hard and stresses me out so bad, and is the cause for these depressed moods. I just pray that are problems will be taken care of soon. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I really want to lose weight. I wish I had someone to make me get my butt up and make me exercise, eat right, etc. Sometimes I just feel like facing the fact that I'm FAT and I will ALWAYS be fat! :( I look at myself now and look at pictures of me from the past and I can't believe the weight I've put on. What has happened to me?!?! I've never told anyone this, until now, and of course my husband, but I once had a dream. I was the old skinny me and I looked at the me I am today and asked myself, "Denise, what have you done and what are you doing to yourself?" I woke up from that dream in tears because it was so real and touching and I changed and lost weight because of that dream. But now I have went back to the old me! Not quite there yet. About 30 more pounds, then I'll be there. But I don't won't to go there! I wish I could just lose the weight! I wish I had the motivation. I can't let myself go again! I just can't!
Lately, I keep coming in and out of these depressions and while being in one, I seem to gain weight. So, I'll lose 7 lbs and then gain that back, then lose 5lbs and then gain that back! I'm so tired of this pattern. It's starting to get old, but it's so hard when you are around food everyday and have no support system. A lot of you know, some don't, but we are having quite a bit of a financial problem, so all this is really hard and stresses me out so bad, and is the cause for these depressed moods. I just pray that are problems will be taken care of soon. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I really want to lose weight. I wish I had someone to make me get my butt up and make me exercise, eat right, etc. Sometimes I just feel like facing the fact that I'm FAT and I will ALWAYS be fat! :( I look at myself now and look at pictures of me from the past and I can't believe the weight I've put on. What has happened to me?!?! I've never told anyone this, until now, and of course my husband, but I once had a dream. I was the old skinny me and I looked at the me I am today and asked myself, "Denise, what have you done and what are you doing to yourself?" I woke up from that dream in tears because it was so real and touching and I changed and lost weight because of that dream. But now I have went back to the old me! Not quite there yet. About 30 more pounds, then I'll be there. But I don't won't to go there! I wish I could just lose the weight! I wish I had the motivation. I can't let myself go again! I just can't! 
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